When Lexus Philippines invited me to an advance screening of Men in Black: International a few days ago, I had high expectations. Not least because the cast included two Avengers characters Liam Neeson, whose movies I had always enjoyed (especially the mushy Love Actually).

Alas, the film sucks. It is bad. As in I-fell-asleep-and-woke-up-to-find-the-other-attendees-had-left bad. So bad, in fact, that I’m now playing the original 1997 flick starring Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith on Netflix as I write this. Just to scrub off every last bit of memory I have of the latest money grab from Hollywood.

Now, please don’t let an aging geezer like me discourage you from seeing Chris Hemsworth’s chiseled jaw. Go ahead and sit through a snoozefest. At least you’ll witness the gorgeous Lexus RC F sports coupe in action. And a fictitious alien-fighting jet with the Japanese luxury automaker’s badge (and spindle grille) on it.

Called the QZ 618 Galactic Enforcer, this thing is what the RC F morphs into when the extraterrestrial action in the movie gets intense. Predictably, they have a corny classification for this vehicle, too: IFO (or Identified Flying Object).

And an almost equally corny quote from the car company’s marketing department: “The jet reflects the future of the Lexus brand—the far, far distant future. With the most advanced alien-fighting technology and performance, and sophisticated styling, it’s in a class of its own.”

Okay.

This Lexus jet boasts Quasar Power Source Technology that “uses the power of the nearest Active Galactic Nucleus to travel anywhere in the universe in seconds,” which would make it a dream transporter in Metro Manila. Other standard equipment includes Intergalactic Positioning System, gamma ray headlamps, and a futuristic Amazon Alexa virtual assistant that understands 7,000,000,000,000 (yes, that’s seven trillion) alien languages.

The vehicle is also said to be capable of zooming from zero to 100km/h in 0.0000000000001 nanosecond, and apparently does so with a fuel efficiency of 122mpg (millennia per gallon). Its three driving modes are EcoDrive, SportDrive and QuantumDrive.

Lexus says this jet has a palette of six exterior colors, but points out that the best one is the UmbraBlack paint job you see here. Not that it matters, of course, since you can’t purchase one even if your name is Jeff Bezos: The QZ 618 Galactic Enforcer is only available to MIB agents.

Now watch the movie and never listen to the petty gripes of gout-suffering, middle-aged journalists.