Culture > Garb

We’ll just leave this Balenciaga car mat skirt here

What used to scrub dirt off your shoes is now haute couture

She’s wearing the mat from her father’s SUV. Kidding. It’s from her boyfriend’s pickup. PHOTO FROM BALENCIAGA

Guys like you and me will never understand high-end fashion. But then, if there are enough bored billionaires out there who don’t mind parting with their cash for that rare chance to look like a character from Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, who are we to object?

That’s okay because, every now and then, these luxury fashion houses do come up with interesting stuff. We’ll still laugh, but we’ll also appreciate the audacity that accompanies the item. Like this skirt from Balenciaga, which, if you stare long enough, will surely reveal itself as the offspring of your pickup truck’s floor mat.

I’m serious. Pause and take it all in.

That Balenciaga label is more upscale than any brand you’ll find at Blade Auto Center. PHOTO FROM BALENCIAGA

But perhaps realizing that car mats are generally associated with dirt, Balenciaga officially calls this item “Car Design Skirt.” Which it sells for $2,235 (P115,410) apiece. At this rate, 3M might see its stock quadruple in value from all the women potentially hoarding its much more affordable rubber mats and opting for DIY versions of Balenciaga’s skirt.

What’s next? A jacket made of airbags?

On second thought, that is no longer so far-fetched these days. Because complementing the car mat skirt is another car-inspired item from Balenciaga: a rearview mirror case priced at $2,225 (P114,915). If you were planning on showing up to a Halloween party as a crash test dummy, here you go.

There's no truth to the rumor that Balenciaga is sourcing supplies for its rearview mirror case from Banawe. PHOTO FROM BALENCIAGA

Seriously though, men should be thanking Balenciaga right now for merging cars and women’s fashion. This could be your best shot at making the wife fully comprehend your automotive obsession. Make her a deal: You’ll get her a Balenciaga car mat skirt and she’ll let you buy a sporty car.

Win-win. And wink-wink.

Vernon B. Sarne

Vernon is the founder and editor-in-chief of VISOR. He has been an automotive journalist for 26 years. He became one by serendipity, walking into the office of a small publishing company and applying for a position he had no idea was for a local car magazine. God has watched over him throughout his humble journey. He writes the ‘Spoiler’ column.