Culture > Et Cetera

The 10 cheesiest car quotes on the Internet

Cringe all you want, but petrolheads get it

Thanks to Internet access and probably a lot of idle time on the part of the authors, mushy one-liners—we call them hugot quotes in the vernacular—flood cyberspace as though Cupid and Shakespeare were running the joint. These sweet but often cringe-worthy attempts at bite-size poetry aren’t limited to romance or the great existential subjects of life. The automotive world is also awash with cheesy aphorisms that might sound off-putting to the casual listener but would definitely earn the nod of a true car guy.

We’ve compiled the 10 best ones (at least to us), and we’d like to share them with you. Let us know if you have anything soppier. The cornier, the better.

“It's not just a car—it's someone else's dream.” PHOTO FROM FORD
“Always remember: Your car will never wake up one day and tell you it doesn't love you anymore.” PHOTO FROM MITSUBISHI
“If you don't look back at your car after you park it, you bought the wrong car.” PHOTO FROM HONDA
“Date a car guy. We break parts, not hearts.” PHOTO FROM MAZDA
“It is more fun to drive a slow car fast, than to drive a fast car slow.” PHOTO FROM NISSAN
“You can live in a car but you can't race a house.” PHOTO FROM KIA
“They say money can't buy happiness. But it can buy car parts, and car parts make me happy.” PHOTO FROM GENERAL MOTORS
“Life's too short to drive boring cars.” PHOTO FROM BMW
“It's not about how fast your car is, it's about how you drive it.” PHOTO FROM CHEVROLET
“I don't want to be in a relationship. I want to be in a Ferrari.” PHOTO FROM FERRARI

Vernon B. Sarne

Vernon is the founder and editor-in-chief of VISOR. He has been an automotive journalist for 26 years. He became one by serendipity, walking into the office of a small publishing company and applying for a position he had no idea was for a local car magazine. God has watched over him throughout his humble journey. He writes the ‘Spoiler’ column.